I have always wanted to learn to dance. I’ve danced at clubs and dancehalls, but it was always clumsy and awkward because I didn’t know what I was doing. Several years ago I had a friend that owned a dance studio, and I really wanted to take some lessons. My husband said no, because he said it was a waste of money, when he could just teach me to dance. He always bragged about what a great dancer he was. But the thing is, in over 6 years together, I think we danced together maybe twice. He didn’t really want to dance with me. It was like that had been a different part of his life that he didn’t care to share with me.
It occurred to me a couple of days ago that I don’t have anyone to tell me no. If I want to waste my money on dance lessons I can. The thought alone made me so excited. Immediately I sortof reigned in my thoughts. “Be reasonable, Sarah, you’d never really do it.” And maybe I won’t. But the idea that I can if I want is really cool.
I am completely overwhelmed by the fact that my life is my own. It’s entirely mine to do with as I choose. My happiness, my choices, my success or my failure is not based on any other person. All of the things I always wanted to do but didn’t because of someone I felt was standing in my way…
This may seem silly to everyone else. But I don’t know how to explain how free I feel for the first time in my life.