Lately my mind has been consumed with worry over some medical issues, and while I have repeatedly tried to let go of them and turn it over to God, I am still struggling. So perhaps it will help to get the thoughts out of my head and put them into words.
I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia several years ago, and lately it’s been getting more difficult to function normally. Between the pain, fatigue and brain fog, I shuffle around the house feeling like the walking dead. I’ve been on Cymbalta for a few years, and I started a prescription anti-inflammatory a couple months ago, but it’s just not enough. So a few weeks ago I reached out to my primary care physician (PCP) to see if there’s something else we can do, or if I need to see a specialist to manage the fibro. He wanted me to see a rheumatologist, but the RM he wanted to send me to doesn’t treat fibro. From what I’ve read, some do and some don’t.
So this prompted my PCP to check again to make sure I don’t have rheumatoid arthritis, or some other underlying condition that the RM would treat, and I had blood drawn last Wednesday. I got a call late Thursday from a nurse about the results, and he said that my white blood cell count (WBC) was elevated considerably.
I have actually had elevated WBC for a few years now, and they never found the cause. All they’ve really been able to tell me in the past was that the test didn’t indicate leukemia, and we should keep an eye on it. Well it turns out that it’s considerably higher this time than before, and several other numbers are out of whack, so the PCP finally wants to pursue getting to the bottom of it. He told me he was going to refer me a hematologist. The nurse kindly warned me that hematologists are also cancer doctors, so I shouldn’t be alarmed when I get a call from the Tulsa Cancer Institute.
Now a full week has gone by, and I still don’t know when I’m going to get an appointment. I even called the cancer institute to see if I could expedite the process, but I had to leave a voicemail. So I’m just stuck in limbo…waiting. Meanwhile, despite my efforts to the contrary, I can’t help but imagine every possible worst-case scenario. I have spent way too much time scouring the internet for as much information as I can find, and the only thing I’ve accomplished is finding more diseases to worry about.
I’m getting sleepy. More later.